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Memories and the rights of unusual suspects

Posted on October 2, 2018 at 7:00 AM

Memories and the lifelong lessons they evoke are powerful influences.  43 years ago this week, I was dropped off at my Cambridge college by my parents - who then drove home, over nearly 4 hours, in an emotionally charged silence, too upset to speak until they were home and dry.  My twin brother and I were my family's first to go to university - and we chose 2 at opposite sides of England, separated full-time for the first time since we were born.  I remain convinced, decades later, that I got into Cambridge by a combination of entrance papers so poor they thought they ought to see this girl who was chippy enough to think she could make it, and the chippy girl's defiance of prejudice at the interview she was asked to attend.  Or because, throughout my schooling I met, almost unfailingly, adults whose key questions were  "Who says you can't?" and "Why would you think that's not for you?"  My family was incredibly ordinary - indeed by today's standards, whilst we weren't living in poverty, there were times when we weren't far off.  But we were also very close, parented by two people whose line was that the sky is NOT the limit, and we were kept busy and engaged in all sorts of pursuits as well as being settled in good Comprehensive schools.  We also lived in a working class community in the South Yorkshire coal field, where we were no different from our neighbours or their children with whom we went to school.  Where I came from, you did what you did.  You kept going. You reached.  But how my parents felt as we took my trunk up to my first-year room at Newnham College, stowed my bike, and they watched me go back inside the college as they prepared to drive away?  I have no notion of what that was like for them, though we did discuss it as the years after my 1978 graduation passed.  My now-long-widowed mum still reminisces about it.  Cambridge colleges are, as is rightly well-publicised, still engaged in a continued struggle to hold fast to very high entry standards yet widen access to people like the just-turned-19 year old 1975 me.  I was part-confident young woman, part-innocent abroad.  I was also, having entered with no coaching, out of my depth with what Cambridge wanted from me until nearly Christmas in my first year.  I was close to giving up then, before I realised that actually, if I let myself go into this place and its learning rather than edging round it out of a lack of confidence in the company of other students who were so much more at ease, I loved the study of history I was given a chance to do.  I loved the phenomenal Cambridge-brain-stretch challenge.  I came to  relish the equal challenge of reading deeply and widely for, and then constructing, a good enough 5,000 word essay, every week for eight weeks a term, three terms a year, then being supervised and quizzed on its contents for 90 minutes a week in sessions led 1 to 1 by a world expert very likely to have been a named author on that week's reading list.  I was equally nervous of, but realise now I also relished, sitting crazily-difficult exams at the end of each of the 3 years of my degree.  My finals almost finished me off however, an experience not repeated until, 30 years later, I was examined by Viva Voce on my Doctoral thesis.  My point in thinking back over the degree experience, as an alumna in ulfilling and ongoing contact with my College?  It's this.  If I overcame my sense that others deserved their place more than me when the fact was they just had more "side" than I did, not more brains?  Anybody can.  If it was for the likes of me in 1975?  It's surely for the likes of any bright determined talented young person now.  Elites are broken into by those who qualify and those who support them, as well as having to break themselves open and admit the unusual suspects.  I should know, I was one.      

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Ah, to live in interesting times!

I'm sure that, like me, for many contacts and colleagues, working days are running in anything but the usual order, anything but the usual way. For me, business has stopped for the time being, all bar finishing off some vital tasks to conclude a great assignment with a client whose people gave, gave and gave again as I worked to help them problem solve and solution find. I am still adjusting to the fact that, the diary being on hold (not closed!) there is, for the first time in my working life, no rush.  No urgency in getting that domestic business done around my business and the people who seek to use it. I can take my time in the kitchen and the garden, at the piano or in my permitted outside exercise a day.  This is not my style, and it makes me a bit jumpy.  It's a struggle to believe it, let alone let my clock run slower than usual.  For former colleague DCSs and their staff and partners, whilst some of the everyday clutter might have set itself aside, their days are very full, their sleeves rolled up and their heroic efforts focused on ensuring the people they serve are as safe as possible, for as long as possible, with as much dignity and support as can be afforded them. I salute them, as ever.  I do remember what single community crises were like when I did the job.  But then there was simply nothing of the scale, or the likely longevity, of the current massive challenge facing them, and society, right now.   


This period of enforced introspection has got me thinking, mostly in the researcher part of my brain.  What I see on a daily basis is that, beyond the muppets who don't think Covid19 is serious or could affect them and won't modify their conduct beyond getting mad and behaving badly, thousands of people are just doing good. Volunteering, offering simple help like dropping off shopping on a neighbour's doorstep, going a LOT further and putting themselves on the line, offering free online support to parents whose children are not at school so everybody may be feeling the strain.  The observer in me is starting to hatch some ideas that would bear scrutiny when this is all over.  Here are some research questions you might help me think about!


Will the economy recover? Or will we have to grow to being, by necessity, a more socially aware nation that seeks out and supports our strugglers rather than blaming them for their own situations then getting on with our own lives?  What will a national workforce look like when we are through the other side?  Will we stay connected, or are we likelier to go back to being frantic, self-absorbed, as our pre-crisis behaviour tended to make us?  Will the memory of when people pulled together, stayed local, formed bonds via Zoom or Skype or WhatsApp linger?  Will we mark when we realised that "We don't need that meeting" was an actual thing?  When people found both altruism and skills they didn't know they had?  When all this is over, can we harness citizen research as well as that done in academia to explore the phenomena we are witnessing as people turn towards others as well as addressing their own concerns?  Or does it take a serious crisis, another Covid19, to make us step into a shared mental and emotional space and capture what it teaches us rather than staying in our own, meaning we will forget? I'm working on some approaches to research bodies on all this, given this is a truly remarkable, as well as a sad, scary, deeply unsettling and uncertain - an "interesting" - time.


If you would like to co-explore what I ruminated on above, or if like me you are watching fascinated as people stop buying what they don't need and concentrate on what they and others do need? Together?  Please get in touch!  


And in the meantime? Stay safe.  Good luck. And if you are in an organisation that's keeping us all going, thank you.

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